Tongues (a journey)

A few months ago a close friend of mine asked about my experience with receiving my personal prayer language.  It was awesome to write it out because everything just seemed to come together.  I realized that I’ve never really written it all out or explained it to anyone fully.  This blog is mostly word for word the email I sent to her so it is written more like a friendly letter than an essay…

Ok.  So two years ago The Lord plucked me out of a really bad period of my life.  2 years on the 5th of July.  Wow, a lot has happened in 2 years. Anyway, when I came out of all that I was a very broken person.  Broken in all ways, good and bad.  Basically I had been humbled and everything I thought I knew about myself and God and life and the Word, died.  For the past 2 years God has been raising to life what was good and true and the bad…well, it’s stayed dead.

I was raised not really so much not believing in the gifts of the Spirit, but more so, not really knowing of them.  My parents didn’t really know and my leadership seemed to either not believe in them or just not talk about it.  Now, when I speak of spiritual gifts, I am talking about 1 Corinthians 12-14.

“There are diversities of gifts, but the same Spirit. There are differences of ministries, but the same Lord. And there are diversities of activities, but it is the same God who works all in all. But the manifestation of the Spirit is given to each one for the profit of all: for to one is given the word of wisdom through the Spirit, to another the word of knowledge through the same Spirit, to another faith by the same Spirit, to another gifts of healings by the same Spirit, to another the working of miracles, to another prophecy, to another discerning of spirits, to another different kinds of
tongues, to another the interpretation of tongues. But one and the same Spirit works all these things, distributing to each one individually as He wills.”
1 Corinthians 12:4-11 (NKJV)

During this death time in my life, I began to look at the Word a lot differently.  It was also God’s provision that I was a part of a community of people who were established in the Word, taking the Lord at His Word and going after the deep things of God.  And especially that first year, that’s all we did.  We went there together.  So when I read, “But earnestly desire the best gifts…” and “Pursue love, and desire spiritual gifts, but especially that you may prophesy” (1 Cor. 12:31a and 14:1) I said to the Lord, “Ok God.  I don’t understand it, but your word says to eagerly desire these things.  So I ask that you would give me these gifts, whatever you want, I want for myself.”  I would read about how Paul boasts and says, “I thank my God I speak with tongues more than you all” (1 Cor. 14:18) and think, “What is that?”  What is it about this mysterious language that Paul is so thankful for?  I don’t know what it is, but I know if Paul, the man given so much revelation of the Lord and who he was in the Lord and so much power in the Spirit, loved it this much, I want it too.”  I literally had nothing to loose.  I had no reputation on the line, no image to live up to anymore. I didn’t really have any friends to have to worry about what they would think of me.  I would say July ‘05-May ‘06 I did little but go to school, fast, pray and read the word.  I would be in class and I’d sneak out my little Bible and secretly read it.  There was nothing else for me to do.  I had been poured out and needed the Lord so badly. I worked for Mike Baker. I spent most of my hours in their house (two doors up), either working in the office with Mike or in our little prayer room.  Personal issues kept me in a place of needing to lean on the Lord.

Weakness is the way in.  I’m telling you, whether your circumstances are making you weak, or you’re putting yourself in voluntary weakness through fasting and giving and living simply (Matthew 5-7 lifestyle), the Lord does something crazy.  He, like, shows up.

“For it is written:
     “I will destroy the wisdom of the wise,
     And bring to nothing the understanding of the prudent.”

Where is the wise? Where is the scribe? Where is the disputer of this age? Has not God made foolish the wisdom of this world?…For you see your calling, brethren, that not many wise according to the flesh, not many mighty, not many noble, are called. But God has chosen the foolish things of the world to put to shame the wise, and God has chosen the weak things of the world to put to shame the things which are mighty; and the base things of the world and the things which are despised God has chosen, and the things which are not, to bring to nothing the things that are, that no flesh should glory in His presence.”  
1 Corinthians 1:19-20; 26-29

“For thus says the High and Lofty One
     Who inhabits eternity, whose name is Holy:

     ‘I dwell in the high and holy place,
     With him who has a contrite and humble spirit,
     To revive the spirit of the humble,
     And to revive the heart of the contrite ones.’ “
Isaiah 57:15

I am ruined over this reality.  The ministry of Christ Jesus was one of servitude.  If our Savior went to the depths, how much more are we called into weakness?

“Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others. Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a bondservant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.”
Philippians 2:3-7

“Let this mind be in you which was also in Christ Jesus” Now that is a loaded statement. I could preach on that forever, but I’ll bring it back…

SO!  Point is, out of weakness and lowliness, all my religious pride and religious arguments and intellectualism about speaking in tongues or the gifts of the Spirit fell to the floor and for the first time in my life I was able to receive.  The Word was now something that stood over me.  I wasn’t able to rationalize it, or put it in a box.  I understood that this thing governs my life.  I obey it even when I don’t understand because I am but a human and the Word is God breathed.  The uncreated, who was and is and is to come, the omnipotent, omniscient, above and beyond my revelation and understanding, wrote each and every word.  

Ravenhill in “Why Revival Tarries” says, “One of these days some simple soul will pick up the Book of God, read it, and believe it. Then the rest of us will be embarrassed.  We have adopted the convenient theory that the Bible is a Book to be explained, whereas first and foremost it is a Book to be believed (and after that to be obeyed).”

This God…the Sovereign Lord of all the cosmos, loves me…”For God so loved the world”… His desire is towards me and he wants to tell me secrets.  The secrets of heaven.  The gifts of the Spirit are just that, they’re gifts.  Gifts from a Father in Heaven that adores me.  His heart jumps every time he catches my eye.  It’s not about power.  It’s not about being the more spiritual.  I don’t have to earn His favor. He has not left me as an orphan.  I am a daughter.

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father who is in heaven give good things to those who ask Him! Matthew 7:11

“If you then, being evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give the Holy Spirit to those who ask Him!” Luke 11:13

I have a Father in heaven.  He’s not far off.  He’s not mostly mad and mostly sad.  He loves to surprise me. He loves to give me gifts. How could I not eagerly desire a gift from a Father like that?  How many times have a sat, with an unwrapped present in my lap refusing that which he has wanted to give?  The accuser comes and tells me I don’t deserve it.  All the pain and rejection of life swells up and I believe that everyone else deserves it, but I don’t.  I try to prove my loyalty and like the prodigal son, ask to be made like a servant.

“I will arise and go to my father, and will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you, and I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Make me like one of your hired servants.”’  “And he arose and came to his father. But when he was still a great way off, his father saw him and had compassion, and ran and fell on his neck and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and in your sight, and am no longer worthy to be called your son.’  “But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring out the best robe and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand and sandals on his feet. And bring the fatted calf here and kill it, and let us eat and be merry; for this my son was dead and is alive again; he was lost and is found.’ And they began to be merry.”
Luke 15:18-24

When the enemy accuses I try to imagine God the Father running out to me.  He just couldn’t wait in the house, His heart overflowed with love for me, He was way too excited to sit still.  He runs out and tackles me with kisses.  I want to earn His favor and love again but he clothes me with royal garments and throws a party. Oh, how I wait in eager expectation for all the gifts the Father wants to pour out!  

Back to the story…For almost a whole year I asked the Lord for tongues (among many other things).  I had people pray for me to receive it and would try my best not to strive in my asking, but rest, knowing my Father in heaven would come at just the right time.  June 20th, 2006 I drove 24 hours to Kansas City (you have to drive very slow with Uhauls).  I was helping the Bakers and the Offutts move out here.  I drove one of the cars all the way through the night.  We got in around 9am then we unloaded 2, not 1, but 2 Uhauls and then went straight to a class at the Forerunner School of Ministry that we all decided to take for 2 weeks.  I was exhausted to say the least.  I hadn’t slept in like….48 hours.  I walked in, Corey
took roll and then asked everyone to stand up and pray in the Spirit.  So I stand, and pray to myself.  Corey called for people to come forward.  I don’t even remember what for.  I went up for whatever reason and I got tongues.  I don’t know.  It wasn’t like this superspiritual crazy fall to the floor experience.  I just remember I didn’t have them, and then I did.  I was REALLY tired and I think my brain was too asleep to try to fight it and my spirit was able to come through. Intellectualism is definitely one of my biggest weaknesses.  At the same time though, I knew it was real because I’m not one of those people who just accepts everything that comes their way.

Interestingly enough, exactly one year later I was in route back to  Maryland and spoke at Anna’s small group then went to that worship thing and got rocked with weeping in a way I’ve never experienced. I’m beginning to think every June 20th is going to be something new for me.

Since I received tongues, I pretty much speak in them all the time. I walk around PF Changs uttering things under my breath.  All I know is that when I speak in tongues I connect with the heart of God faster.  Walls go down and I can commune with the Lord and get into His presence more quickly than I used to.  I speak in faith that the indwelling Spirit is speaking mysteries to God for me.

“For he who speaks in a tongue does not speak to men but to God, for no one understands him; however, in the spirit he speaks mysteries.”
1 Corinthians 14:2

“Likewise the Spirit also helps in our weaknesses. For we do not know what we should pray for as we ought, but the Spirit Himself makes intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered. Now He who searches the hearts knows what the mind of the Spirit is, because He makes intercession for the saints according to the will of God.”
Romans 8:26-27

Speaking in tongues edifies yourself. There is something supernatural that happens and I am becoming more Christ-like.  Read further in Romans 8…

“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are the called according to His purpose.  For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to be conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the firstborn among many brethren.  Moreover whom He predestined, these He also called; whom He called, these He also justified; and whom He justified, these He also glorified. What then shall we say to these things? If God is for us, who can be against us?  He who did not spare His own Son, but delivered Him up for us all, how shall He not with Him also freely give us all things? Who shall bring a charge against God’s elect? It is God who justifies. Who is he who condemns? It is Christ who died, and furthermore is also risen, who is even at the right hand of God, who also makes intercession for us.”

It is all about us becoming conformed. Christ was the firstborn, we are to follow Him.  Not in this Sunday School reality of let’s do good things and follow Christ. I mean it IS that, but it isn’t.  We’ve simplified it to something we just say.  But Christ himself said we will do greater miracles than even He did.  He will give us all things? Oh, that we could believe that.  That I could really believe that.  Tongues are but a drop in the bucket.

Below is a list Steve Offutt put together of scriptures on tongues and the Holy Spirit that I encourage everyone who has questions or is curious to read…

Acts 2:1-4 – infilling of HS, tongues, utterances
Romans 12:6-8 – gifts of the HS
Acts 19:6 – infilling of HS, tongues, prophesy
Hebrews 2:4 – signs and wonders, activity of the HS (cross w/ 1 Cor12:4,7,11)
Acts 10:44-48 – infilling of HS, activity of HS, tongues
Acts 2:17-18 – pouring out of HS, tongues, prophesy
Ephesians 5:18-19 – infilling of HS, manifestation of song, singinging
Eph 6:17-20 – praying in the spirit connected to sword of the Lord
and release of utterances
1 Thessalonians 5:19-21 – don’t despise prophesy
Mark 16:17 – Jesus on tongues (cross w/ Acts 2:4)
Jude 20-21 – praying in the spirit, edification purposes
1 Cor 12:7-11 – manifestations and gifts of the HS
1 Cor 12:31 – earnestly desire gifts of HS
1 Cor 14:1-5 – tongues and prophesy
1 Cor 12:28 – gifts of the HS
1 Cor 14:18 – Paul speaks in tongues alot
1 Cor 14:39 – tongues and prophecy

Really read all of 1 Cor 12-14 on the gifts of HS including tongues and prophecy.

And here’s a hint, 1 Cor 13:10 is not a passage stating that tongues and prophecy do not exist or should not exist in the Body of Christ today. I believe it is speaking that tongues and prophecy will cease after Jesus has returned becuase we will be in physical fellowhsip with Jesus the HS. I believe this part of the passage in 1 Cor 13 is more about the eternal characteristics of love, when it says tongues/prophecy will cease…but love remains.

have fun studying this!

Hello world!

I’m finally here!

now I’m almost as hip as the Offutts!

I’ve got a lot to say…stay tuned.